Children who have shown some difficult and unpleasant behaviour will often dig their heels in and refuse to apologise or they may say sorry in a perfunctory way just to get on with their day and get the adult ‘off their back’. Needless to say, this is usually because they aren’t sorry at all. They are still emotional and unrepentant.
Aim to relax, cut yourself some slack, and try to be realistic about what can be achieved. It’s impossible to replicate school and probably not good for anyone. A stressed educator who tries to cram too much in and push a child against their will won’t get great results.
The ‘when…then….’ strategy is a way of gaining cooperation from your child. When they have done as asked they get something they want. It’s a positive consequence for cooperative behaviour and works more effectively than taking something away in a negative fashion.
We’ve heard that the Welsh government is about to ban parents from smacking their children.In England reasonable physical chastisement by parents can be seen as lawful in some situations, but the general consensus is that smacking isn’t an appropriate way to manage children’s behaviour.
Don’t avoid the subject or pretend it isn’t happening. Be upfront and understanding about their feelings without becoming upset yourself or giving the impression they are right to be anxious. So if your child is uptight about going to a Doctor’s appointment let her know that you can see she is on edge about it all.
Lots of parental enthusiasm often works for younger children and, whilst being engaged and interested as they get older is still crucial, you may need to dial down the intensity at secondary school level.